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VITRUVIUS
/
7 decembra, 2015

1: BOŽIČNI PUDING

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“Ti, s figo? To je tvoja miza. Moja sestrična Suzette je leta 1979 umrla za njo. Subarahnoidalna krvavitev. Ponoči je delala pri risarjih. Da bi oddala pred vsemi nami, jasno. Nikogar več ni bilo v pisarni, zjutraj smo jo pa našli. Kuzla. A veste, kaj je subarahnoidalna krvavitev, pastirci? Kdo si že ti, s figo?”

“Mariela. Mariela Žašler.”

“Tikala te bom. Mariela Žašler, subarahnoidalna krvavitev je tempirana bomba v možganih. To pomeni, da nikoli ne veš, ali te bo doletela, in kdaj te bo. Ni važno, koliko si stara, koliko si fit, važno pa je, da si Hagenbohmova. Ker Hagenbohmovi umiramo. Samo da ti nisi Hagenbohmova, zate je strah odveč.”

“Velika stara družina ste. Verjetno v vseh velikih starih družinah pogosto umirajo.”

“Nikakor ne! Hagenbohmovi imamo dolgo zgodovino raka, cerebrovaskularnih bolezni in davice in smo nenavadno nagnjeni k prometnim nesrečam. Stara družinska legenda pravi, da so naši predniki na račun številnih smrti zaradi kuge leta 1551 neznansko obogateli, zato nas od takrat za kazen morijo vse možne smrtne bolezni in sumljive nesreče. V 18. stoletju smo imeli znojno bolezen, v 19. smo bili jetični, po prvi vojni je kosila španska gripa. Zdaj nas pobijajo srce, ožilje in jasno, mustangi. Boste že videli, pastirci. Nekoga od nas bo slej ko prej spet doletelo.”

“Upam, da ne vas. Škoda bi vas bilo. ”

“Peter Bram?”

“Ja.”

Peter Bram: “Ali more Etiopijec spremeniti svojo polt, panter svoje maroge? Gospod Bog naj ti nakloni milost, da sprejmeš tisto, kar ti je dano po Njegovi volji in česar ti po Njegovi volji ni mogoče spremeniti.” 2. Abigalina knjiga 17:25. Ampak hvala za kompliment. ”

To je uvodni govor Alme Gris Hagenbohm, ko pelje novince na grand-tour po arhitekturnem biroju Vitruvius, najprestižnejši instituciji svoje sorte v Pärnuju, zgrajenem v obliki čebeljega panja in prekritega s ploščicami Alvo DeGaule, ki so bile moderne v osemdesetih, zdaj pa jih ne uporablja nihče več, razen kot stejtment in če je res prepričan, da svet ne dvomi o njegovem dobrem okusu. (“Hagenbohmovi ne dvomimo.”) Za zdaj so videli veliko pisarno starega Ludvika-Daniela Hagenbohma, ki je pri sedemindevetdesetih še vedno formalni direktor biroja in glava družine, s katerim je na žalost treba računati. Šestkoten centralni prostor je v dveh nadstropjih, okrog njega pa je v grozd nanizanih šest šestkotnih pisarn, kjer dela šest enakovrednih partnerjev: Ludvikova preživela sinova Daniel Hagenbohm in Frank L. Hagenbohm, edina preživela vnukinja Alma, njen mož Jakob Gris, njuna hči Olga Gris Hagenbohm in – edini partner brez družinskega priimka – Roudavski. Mize, določene za štiri nove pripravnike, najete za neplačano delo z možnostjo plačanega podaljšanja, so v skupnem prostoru nadstropje više, natlačenem s starimi maketami, stebriči, štukaturami in drugim sobnim dekorjem, ki so ga ob spremenjeni modi brezsramno prenesli iz bolj izpostavljenih prostorov biroja. Krama daje pisarni, v kateri se trenutno nahajajo Alma in pripravniki, prijetno hektičen videz. Novi pripravniki so trije, čeprav so mize štiri.

“Pastirci. Vpadli ste ravno prav za finiš projekta Božični puding. Božični puding je naša nova kardiovaskularna klinika v Brestu, ki bo vsak čas pripravljena za fazo notranje opreme, tako da lahko pričakujete, da boste v naslednjih tednih kot ostala poceni delovna sila pogosto na lebdeči cesti med Pärnujem in Brestom. Kdo je projektiral lebdečo cesto med Pärnujem in Brestom in dvema milijonoma vsakodnevnih migrantov med Pärnujem in Brestom prihranil 236 kilometrov prašenja čez puščavo v eno smer, kar s hitrostjo 100 km/h znaša 141 min njihovega življenja na dan?”

“Biro Vitruvius!” zavpije rdečelasa punca, ki je ravnokar vpadla skozi vrata.

“Kdo drug kot biro Vitruvius! Pastirci, to je četrta pripravnica. Moja hči, Lili Sanela.”

Vitruvius_1del

Piše: Eva Mahkovic

Ilustrira: Eva Mlinar

Naslednja epizoda bo objavljena v četrtek, 10. 12.

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